J9's Property

It's interesting to see the number (and variety) of debates you can find when the Christmas season rolls around.

Take, for example, the endless debate of the artificial versus the real Christmas Tree.

(and yes, it's a Christmas Tree, not a "Holiday Tree"....don't get me started on that one)

Me, I've always had a real one. Preferrably a White Pine, the one with the long, soft needles. Very pretty with a nice set of white lights on it, the whole tree seems to glow when you turn them on.

A lot of people opt for the artificial route. I have heard many reasons for this: less mess, less maintenance, less over-all concern especially if there are little ones and pets underfoot.

If these are your reasons, I can't say I blame you. A real tree does require regular waterings if you want it to stay looking nice through the holidays. Regular waterings also help to keep the tree relatively fire-resistant. Some trees are messier than others, although I have to say the the White Pines we get tend to be fairly clean - not a lot of needle-shed. And if the tree does get knocked over, there is the issue of the water on the floor/carpet/whatever it's sitting on.

But as far as I'm concerned, the extra effort is worth it! Yes, artificial trees are getting nicer and nicer (and more expensive!), but in my book, nothing compares to a real tree. It's become a tradition for all of us Rayments to make the trek out to the tree farm every year for the Great Christmas Tree Hunt. And when you get the freshly cut tree into the house, you can smell the nice, (real!) pine scent in your living room...

Now, there is one argument against real trees that I really can't understand. It's the environmental argument. Apparently, there are many who advocate artificial trees as being preferable for the environment, because you're not cutting down a tree (and therefore denuding the natural world for your own decoration), and you're not putting a tree into the landfills every year.

If you are of the opinion that artificial trees are better for the environment, I invite you to consider the following points:

1. No harmful chemicals, man-made materials, or pollution were used or produced in the manufacturing of my tree. OK, with the exception of the odd pesticide. But other than that, my tree is made entirely of natural fibres.

2. The tree I cut down was grown on a tree farm, for the specific purpose of being cut down and used as a Christmas Tree. Also, every time I cut down a Christmas tree, the tree farmer plants another one in it's place. It seems to me that one of the big "environmentally conscious" things to do, is to go out to a clear cut area and plant saplings to replace the trees harvested by the lumber industry. I'm only cutting down one tree a year, and it is immediately replaced by the owner of the tree farm.

3. When I am finished with my tree, it is 100% biodegradable. While, yes, it may take up space in a landfill, it will break down as naturally as any other tree in a forest which has died of natural causes. Let me ask you: what happens to all those artificial trees when they aren't so nice-looking anymore, or are just plain out-of-style? How well do they break down in a landfill? If they are "recycle-able", how much pollution is produced by the recycling plant in the recycling process?

I couldn't believe it when I actually read an article about having a "green Christmas" (read that, "environmentally friendly" Christmas), and it actually encouraged people to buy artificial trees. In my opinion, the environmentally friendly thing to do is to buy a real tree from a tree farmer. The uses for the tree when you are done are numerous: mulch, firewood, crafts, to name just a few, and the whole process is entirely natural.

If you prefer an artificial tree because you have littles ones or pets, or you simply can't care for a real tree, then I won't argue with you. That's a case of personal preference, and I have no problem with that.

But if you try to tell me that having an artificial tree is the environmentally friendly thing to do, be prepared for an argument.

Because unlike my tree, your arguments just don't hold water.

My neck and shoulder hurt.

I've come down with my first cold of the season.

And I have to write a 3-hour final exam on Wednesday!!!

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

Advent starts this week.

Stores are in full Kris Kringle mode.

Houses are getting decorated, trees are being cut/set up/decorated.

So why doesn't it feel like Christmas?

I must have too much going on in my mind. Too many thoughts, too many events, too much news (most of it not particularly positive)...

Maybe I'll feel it more after tomorrow night, when we have the annual Christmas With The Salvation Army concert at Roy Thomson Hall.

Maybe I'll feel it more after my exam (for which I really should be studying right now) on Wednesday.

Maybe once my living room is finished, and I can actually put up my own Christmas tree and decorations... (what's that old saying about hope springing eternal?...)

I'm finding it hard to believe that it will be December tomorrow. What happened to October?...oh, never mind, I know only too well what happened to October. I'm still recovering from October. November was certainly a better month, what I can remember of it.

The retail business is certainly pulling out all the stops in trying to get everyone into the Christmas spirit. I just wish their Christmas spirit was the same as my Christmas Spirit. Imagine how much more enjoyable Christmas would be, if it were all about getting together with family and friends, going to parties, hosting parties, celebrating the actual reason we have a holiday (read that, Holy Day) at all. No blown bank accounts and huge credit card debts. No stressing out about what to buy that person who "has it all". No hassles in crowded stores, no fighting over that Big Ticket Item that always seems to crop up every year.

I think it was Madonna (ironic?) and her husband who said that they stopped having Christmas as the secular world knows it. No presents in their house. Just spending time together. For once, I think she's actually done something I can truly admire. I don't know what her motives are, but the idea certainly has merit. Wouldn't you find Christmas more enjoyable? I really think I would.

Just think, no whiney kids when they don't get what they want, or don't get as much as they think they should, or think their sibling got more stuff than they did. No pretending to like something that you know you'll never use, just so you don't offend the person who thought it was perfect for you. No resentment from buying that gift for that person you really don't like, but feel you have to buy for out of duty. No false-ness, no shallowness, no stress, NO COMMERCIALISM...

Whadaya think? Can we get back to basics? Or has Christmas been hijacked to such an extent that it's lost to us forever?

I suppose it may be too much to ask. The western world has become so secularized (or should I say, anti-Christian) that the public perception of Christmas really has become "X-mas" - taking Christ right out of it. Heck, you hardly even hear it called "Christmas" anymore, it's "the holidays". People don't say "Merry Christmas" anymore, it's "Happy Holidays", or my personal pet-peeve, "Season's Greetings". (blech!) Christmas is Santa Claus, perfectly wrapped presents,
fancy Christmas Trees decorated in the most modern style (is it still the big, colourful ribbons with coordinated ornaments? Or is that passe this year?)...

It's really quite sad, if you ask me.

Maybe it'll start to feel like Christmas when I can sit down with my family, relax, and just enjoy being with them. Maybe when I can put the focus where it should be, on a manger in Bethlehem, and on a wee Babe who would change the course of history. No big concerts, no big productions, no big, bright, flashy displays.

Just me, my family, and Him.

Read here.

Can't blame ya, Les!

I'm managing.

Vacations are wonderful things for getting away from life, clearing one's head, reducing one's stress levels, but they can also cause further stress....and I'm not just referring to my husband getting sick right when we were supposed to be heading home! It's been the worst autumn I can remember. One thing on top of another on top of another. I feel so beat up right now, I can't roll with any more punches.

But I do feel as though I have a better handle on things now. I still miss Fay. I look over at her empty desk, and I miss her. I see all the exciting changes happening in the office, and I miss her.

But I'm managing. My head isn't quite so foggy. I feel I can function again.

The piles of paper at work aren't going away. They're actually only going to get worse in the next while, and I'm behind already due to being away for a week.

But it's manageable.

I have a temporary team leader. I now know who my new permanent team leader will be, once the Grand Shuffle is completed in our department. I will also have an entirely new team to work with, and a new desk mate to get to know. I also know where my new desk will be, and I actually move into it on Monday. Which means I have to find time tomorrow to pack up my current desk.

But it's manageable.

If I can take that next breath, tackle that next piece of mail, make that next phone call,....

I can manage.

I can manage, in spite of the latest news, which I'm still trying to absorb. "C" is now closer to home than I've ever wanted it to be. There are a lot of positive aspects to this news, but the natural reaction is still one of fear, worry, concern...

I can manage, in spite of the ongoing upheaval of a house undergoing constant renovations. Still lots left to do.

But, I can manage.

When we were driving to Florida a couple of weeks ago, it rained most of the way. At one point, we were driving through the mountains of West Virginia (or it might have been Virginia...not sure), and the rain let up a bit; the sun shone through a little; and a huge, beautiful, full-arch rainbow appeared right beside us.

And I heard that still, small, voice whisper in my ear,

"Don't worry. I'm taking care of you."

Well, it's beginning to sink in. Doesn't make any sense yet, and I'm sure it may be a very long time before it does, if ever. I'm getting over the shock. Still a little off-balance, and my head is still fuzzy, but overall I'm beginning to feel better.

That doesn't mean it's any easier, mind you.

It's been a rough week, to say the least. The visitation was on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday. Very quick, it seemed, but I guess that's how her family wanted it. It was so heart-breaking to see her sons, only in their 20's (and looking even younger!).

I thought the funeral was very meaningful, even though I've never experienced a Greek Orthodox funeral before, and had no hope of understanding all the Greek being sung. The liturgy was actually rather comforting, and the priest did do some translation for us english-only folks. And there was quite a contingent of us -- I think the people from work accounted for about 1/4 of the congregation.

We're slowly losing the things that remind us of Fay. Her sons came in last night to collect her things from her desk, so we no longer see her shawl draped over her chair (she was cold-blooded, like me, and often was wrapping herself up in that shawl), no longer see the photos of her sons and nephews on the desk...maybe it's for the best, it doesn't seem so much like she should be walking in the door at any minute...

But I'll always see her leaning against my desk when she would stop by for a chat, or sitting in the "lounge" in our team area, when we'd have an impromptu meeting ("just two minutes!"), or just sitting around on a Friday morning with our coffees, and I still hear her voice when I read the notes she's left in my files...

I worked with Fay for 5 years. I was placed on her team when she first became a team leader, not long after I started with the company. She and I usually worked very well together. There was an unfortunate period of time, when things weren't going so well, and most people on the team were upset with her, but in the last few months, she was an absolute pleasure to work with. There were a lot of similarities in our personalities, so I felt I understood her fairly well. She always encouraged me, wasn't afraid to give me a good, swift, kick in the rear whenever I needed it, but I always knew she was in my corner.

It will take some time to get used to not having her there, she was a big part of my life at work. I'm going to miss teasing her about her computer skills (or rather, the lack thereof!), or about her, well, interesting terms (I'll never look at another gargoyle without thinking, "it's 'mooshy'"); I'll miss hearing about her sons and their latest accomplishments, or her nephews, or her nieces, or her mom... she was a lady who loved her family and friends dearly.

I had someone say to me today, rather bluntly, that life goes on. Indeed, it does. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong in taking my time getting back to "normal". I don't want life to just "go on", and forget about her. Yes, we must move on, but the last thing I want to do is leave her memory behind.

I can't just pretend nothing happened, push it away, and not deal with it.

I have to face it head-on.

She deserves that much.

How do you make sense of it?

Especially when you're in such a state of shock that it's hard to think straight in the first place. My mind is in a fog, and I'm not seeing too clearly either thanks to the leaky eyes. (it also messes up the glasses)

I keep waiting to wake up, for someone to tell me it's all a misunderstanding, that nothing is what it seems. But I know that won't happen.

Deep down, I know.

I know that when I go to work on Monday, my boss won't be there. I know there will be an empty desk, where just a couple of days ago, there was a happy, caring, slightly quirky woman who would go to the ends of the earth for her family, friends, and team.

I pray God will bring comfort to her family right now and in the days to come.

Rest in Peace, Fay.

Well, we're trying......still trying.....(very trying).....to get this house on the market.....there's still SO much to do! I guess that's what happens when you own a 50 yr-old house that really hasn't had a whole lot done to it in the last 50 years.

We are making progress, though! The kitchen is (finally!!) done (except for a couple of odds and ends, like the under-counter valance, and painting the new trim)(oh, and finishing the cupboard behind the door)(and the transition strips), rooms are getting painting this week, the downstairs apartment is as done as it's going to get, although the downstairs hallway, laundry room, and storage room still need help...

*sigh*

But, we're further ahead than we were. It's getting there. Mainly little stuff left to do, which we (hopefully) can get done before Thanksgiving. Yeah, I know, not the best time to list a house, but I just want to GET IT LISTED AND BE DONE WITH IT.

Do I sound convinced yet? It's hard to stay optimistic when I look around and see how much we still have to do, compared to how much time we have to get it done in. Thankfully, Mom and Dad are coming out this week to help, to do some painting for us (yay!!), so that will be a couple more things crossed off the list.

*sigh*

Know anyone who would like to buy a cute little 3-bedroom bungalow in Scarborough, with an in-law suite in the basement?.....

Well, I have the first batch of photo's back from our trip downeast, and I have to say I'm quite pleased! My favorites have been posted on my online scrapbook. So far, I have photos for the wedding, and the first part of the trip up until our drive back across Newfoundland. (Those of you who are my friends on facebook can see most of the photos on my profile.) The shots from the ferry until New Brunswick are currently being developed, and the last shots of the Bay of Fundy are still in the camera.

The trip was amazing! I wish we could have stayed longer in some places - particularly Newfoundland. We really didn't get enough time there, I would have liked to have spent another day in St. John's, and I wish we could have swung off the Trans-Canada Highway to see more of the little places along the way. Unfortunately, our time was dictated by the ferry schedule, and you have to reserve your ferry ahead of time.

Next time we go downeast, I'd really like to get to PEI! We didn't make it this time, we simply ran out of time! We saw Cape Breton, and drove the Cabot Trail, but we didn't get down the "foot" of Nova Scotia (ie. down to Halifax and Yarmouth). We'd really need to do it in 2 trips: Newfoundland one trip, the rest of the Maritimes another. I really hope we get that chance in the years to come!

In the mean time, I've gained some wonderful memories, and some great photos (if I do say so myself!)

Well, I don't have the Down East photos back from the developer yet, but if you go to my online "scrapbook", you can see some shots I took in Algonquin Park this past July. We went canoeing very early one morning, and I tell ya, I was sure glad I had my camera along!

Yes, indeedee! I'm back, after a very long absence from the blogging world! And yes, I do have reasons - we actually just got back from a 2-week trip down east. We drove to St. John's, Newfoundland and back! I'm waiting for the photos to be developed, then I'll post a few on my photo blog for all to see!

Meanwhile, it's time to get to work! Lots to do around here, if we have a hope of getting the house listed this year. (needs to be done next month at the latest!!) Can we do it? Well, I guess we'll have to see. But the prospect of another year in this city does not exactly have me excited... At least the kitchen is pretty much done. Just a few pieces of trim to go, but we can get that done while we're also doing trim, painting, repairs, etc. in the rest of the house.

Here's hoping!.....

There's a war going on in my life.

Well, actually, there's a few of them, on different fronts. Some are long-fought battles against old enemies, some are new skirmishes. The one I'm thinking of right now is one that's been with me, well, pretty much all my life.

The name of the enemy?

Laziness.

I don't think I can honestly remember a time without Laziness hanging around my neck, sneaking up behind me, pulling me down, making me his prisoner. It goes right back to when I was a kid. I never did nearly as well in school as I should have, because instead of my attitude being one of "how well can I do?", it was, "what can I get away with?" Why put hours of work into a project and to get a 90%, when I can put minimal work into it and pull of a still-respectable 80%?

It's an attitude I've never really been able to shake, no matter how hard I fight to get beyond it. I am the Queen of Good Intentions. (and yes, I know what the road to hell is paved with!) I'll start out like gang-busters, then just when I think I'm doing well, Laziness sneaks up behind me and trips me up.

Argh.

It doesn't help that I'm not only Lazy, I'm a Lazy Procrastinator. Now, some of you may be thinking, "don't those 2 go hand-in-hand?" Actually, it is very easy to be a Procrastinator without being Lazy, and although it's less common, you can be Lazy without being a Procrastinator.

Allow me to clarify:

There are some Procrastinators whose M.O. is to find everything possible to do to make themselves busy, and in so doing, avoid the important task they really need to do. They are far from Lazy, they are actually working themselves to death. But they are still Procrastinating, because they are putting off doing what they really should be doing.

There are also some very Lazy people who don't put off doing things, they just find ways to accomplish what needs to be done with as little work as possible. As a result, the end product is usually very poor quality, because they are too Lazy to do the task properly.

The Lazy Procrastinator, on the other hand, is much worse. Not only does the important task not get done, but nothing else gets done in its place. The Lazy Procrastinator lives by the adage, "Why do today what you can put off until tomorrow?", and plunks themselves down on the couch and watches TV. Or plays video games. Or reads a novel. Or sits in front of a computer and does nothing but blog...

I'm finding ways to win the small battles, though. One tactic I've taken to using is the "Nike" approach. ("Just Do It!") There are times when I will literally kick myself in the butt and get moving. Other times, if I'm already in motion, I'll prevent myself from sitting down on the couch. I leave the TV turned off. (which is easier to do when I'm home alone...) I leave the computer turned off.

And slowly, I'm beginning to win. A skirmish here. A duel there. Stuff gets done, and I feel much better about myself. (There's nothing worse than that horrible sinking feeling you get while looking at the piles of unwashed dishes, knowing you could have avoided the 45mins of standing at a sink if you had not let Laziness get the upper hand 4 nights ago.)

Now I just have to get rid of the excuses. I'm a typical working wife in many ways: working a full time job, coming home and thinking, "I'm too tired from working all day to do anything around here!" But, then I look at my SIL, (who is the energizer bunny incarnate), and I see how much she can get done in an evening, after working all day. If I could do half of what she gets done, I'd be way ahead of the game. And why can't I?

I just have to make up my mind to do it.

Maybe next week....

He's trying to tell me something.

(Well, He's not trying, He's doing. The problem is on the receiving end.)

I can't quite decipher it yet. But there's that disturbance in my spirit, that tells me there's something I need to learn, something I need to do, or stop doing...I just can't put my finger on it.

There's been something bothering me the last while, probably for a few weeks. I've put it down to stress (both from life and from work), tiredness, selfishness, whatever I can think of, but bottom line, there's something not quite right.

He's trying to tell me what it is, and I can't quite figure it out.

I came to this realization today. I was reminded of an old prayer on the weekend, and I decided I wanted to pray it every day. Not just for the sake of repeating a prayer for the sake of repeating it (and therefore feeling good about myself for having said it), but because it's truly what I want in my life. I know I lack. I'm far from the person God wants me to be. I guess I felt that one step on the road to becoming that person is to pray this prayer (and really mean it!!) on a regular basis. So I started with it today.

And I immediately felt Him telling me something. I just can't hear Him clearly yet - there's too much of me in the way. But I know it's important, and I'd better listen up.

I mentioned this before, the concept of rest. Not sleep, but rest.

I got some rest this weekend. I'm actually feeling rather sleep-deprived at the moment, but I feel rested.

Ironic?

Not when you think about it.

No, I didn't get enough sleep. I came home from work today feeling like I needed a 2-hour nap. But I was able to do something this weekend that I don't often have a chance to do: I took a break from the world.

I didn't run away, I didn't go into seclusion, I didn't join a convent or anything drastic like that. I was home alone (band-widowed again), which allowed me to work on myself a little. (and the house, for that matter - it's amazing how much better one feels with a clean house!) It was a much-needed time-out from the hectic busy-ness that is my life these days.

Don't get me wrong, I missed Doug while he was away! But being the stereotypical introvert, I find being around people to be very tiring. It's taken Doug a little while to learn that when I first come home from work, I need to just be by myself for a little while, so I can re-charge and calm down. Dealing with people all day every day is very wearing on someone with my personality type, and I need a break from it. Otherwise, I can get just a little cranky.

Today, my head feels clearer, I feel better about myself, about my ability to cope. I'm actually starting to feel like a grown-up, instead of a kid playing "house". It doesn't feel so much like my world is crashing down around me.

All because I got some rest.

Now, if only I could just get some sleep.....

Yes, I'm still here. Still breathing, still upright.

It's been a strange few weeks. I've been finding myself swinging between confident, together, responsible adult, and scared, insecure, depressed kid. I have a bad habit of allowing myself to be affected by events which are outside of my control. Combine that with the other bad habit of not doing anything to help myself.

There are times, though, when I feel like I'm getting my life together. My house gets cleaned. Responsibilities get taken care of. I act like my age.

But then, it's only a few days before I'm parked in front of the TV, or at the computer, feeling sorry for myself and wishing I could just run away and hide from the world.

I screwed up big time today. Well, the screw-up wasn't today, but I suffered the consequences today. I won't go into detail about what happened, but suffice to say that I was reminded of how I can do things without thinking, and that a seemingly small, stupid act can catch up to you in a big way.

And now I want to crawl into a hole. I'm embarrassed, I'm chagrinned, I'm very angry with myself. I'm also lucky to have only been reprimanded and warned.

But I'll get over it. And I'll learn from it.

And the confidence will come back. I'll start getting things together again, and I'll feel like a grown-up.

Maybe I'll even act like one.

There I am, saying I'm going to write more often....and here I am, writing no more frequently than I did before...

Sorry...

I guess you could say I've been a little busy lately. Goings-on at work, goings-on at home, goings-on at the corps...I really haven't had time to think, let alone write. Case in point, here I sit at 2am Saturday morning, which seems to be the only time I can find to write...and I'm still not sure what I'm going to write about...I just know I want to write....

There have been a lot of disturbing things happening lately, both in my own little world, and in the big world out there. It makes me want to come up with something profound to say, but I find myself so exhausted from all the angst that I just can't put anything coherent together. I need rest. Not just sleep, but rest. Rest from responsibility, rest from conflict, rest from the world in general. Just for a little while...

OK, I've written and deleted way too many paragraphs at this point, nothing is coming out the way I want it to come out. I think I'll quit for the night, and at least get the sleep part of the rest I'm needing. See you (hopefully!) in a little while....

Yay!!

I never thought I'd be happy about having my house turned into a construction zone, but when you've spent months (years, even!) waiting to have your kitchen reno'd, it's a very exciting thing! What makes it bear-able, is that we have a separate apartment in our basement, which is currently not rented out -- I therefore still have a fully functioning kitchen while the upstairs one is ripped apart!

Things are (finally!) moving along, everything is outa there (some of it is already in the dump!), and the new cabinets have been ordered. Of course, the main floor of the house is covered in plaster dust, but I can live with that...it's only temporary.

We're still seriously behind schedule -- it looks like we won't be able to list the house until late summer, maybe even September. When you consider we had originally planned to move a year ago, it's very frustrating...but I'm staying positive by looking at the fact that the things that need to get done are finally getting done! As long as we can maintain the momentum, I'll be happy. The trick is not losing steam before we get to the end of the track...

...but dealing with it. One of these days, I'll learn that I can't always be in control, and things will all work out the way they're supposed to.

Like I said, I must have prayed for patience or something....

I'm on my own right now, another band widow weekend. The CSB is in Montreal this weekend, it will be one of the last times that the march "Montreal Citadel" will be played in Montreal Citadel! It's very special for the CSB, because that march is their "March march" - ie. the march they play while on the march in various parts of the world. (and it's not the same, without Scott Gross taking the one repeat down the octave!)

So, in the mean time, I'm getting some much-needed spring cleaning done, both inside and outside. Helps with the frustration level, when I can at least get some things done and at least pretend that we're moving forward...(sorry, there I go again)....

(ok, I gotta stop now)

Things are not going my way.

I feel like I'm spinning my wheels, unable to go forward. I know what I want to do, and where I want to go, but it feels like there's some kind of barrier between me and my goals. It's like one of those mysterious energy fields out of Star Trek - you can't see it, but it holds you back, and the more energy you put into getting through it, the more energy you waste, and you get no-where.

I must have prayed for patience somewhere along the line -- that's the only explanation I can come up with. Everything keeps getting delayed more and more and more, and I'm not sure how much more of it I can take! Part of me wants to say "@#$@# it!" and give up, but you know me -- I'm much too stubborn for that. I just keep banging my head against the wall. (mainly because I can't bang other people's heads against the wall)

Sorry for the yucky blog. I'm just very miserable right now.

I need chocolate....

OK, so I just looked at my blog...and realised, it's almost the end of the month, and I've only posted twice! And here, I'm the one who checks other people's blogs, and gets impatient if someone doesn't post every-other-day!

Hmmm. Guess maybe I should blog a little more often?...

The problem is, though, there are many days when I sit here, and just can't think of anything to say. Anyone who knows me, will tell you I'm a very quiet person - I don't often have a whole lot to say, unless you get me onto a certain topic. Other than that, I usually let other people do the talking.

But, in the interest of not boring people to death, and therefore encouraging them to NOT check my blog, I hereby resolve to blog more often...even if it's just to say, I have nothing to say!

And to be honest, I really don't have a lot to say today, other than to apologise for not being a regular blogger, and to say I'm going to write more often.

See, this is what happens when I have nothing to say: I will find 15 ways to say nothing over and over and over......

OK, I'm even starting to annoy myself....

Yes, the Marked By Love recording is now available!!

You can get them from any Marked By Love member (including myself and my hubby!) for $20.00 each. All proceeds will be going to support the Ethembeni Babies Home in South Africa - you can get more details on the website. There is also a link there to the Marked By Love MySpace page, where you can listen to a snippet or 2 of the music. (for those of you who like to sample the wares before you buy!)

We had a lot of fun recording this project, and I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I do!

I've been following, with some interest, the stories regarding a certain sculpture in chocolate. You've probably heard about it - the image of Christ, hanging on an invisible cross, made out of pure milk chocolate. You've also probably heard about all the hoop-la it's caused, and the subsequent cancellation of the exhibit.

The Christian leaders who protested (and, surprisingly enough, were heard), weren't so concerned about the fact that it was an image of Jesus Christ made in chocolate; it was the fact that he was shown stark naked. (and anatomically correct)

Yeah, I wouldn't want to see my Lord and Saviour portrayed that way, either.

But, it reminded me of something I read long ago, something that put a whole different perspective on Good Friday for me. I once read a book called "The Hiding Place", by Corrie TenBoom. For those of you who have never heard of her, Corrie was a Christian lady, who hid Jews in her home during the nazi occupation of Holland. She was eventually found out, and sent to a concentration camp for being a conspirator. Corrie survived the ordeal, and later wrote about it.

I remember one scene she described, as she and her sister (both of whom were in their 50's by this time) were waiting in line at intake at the concentration camp, stark naked in a room full of other women prisoners and prison guards. In the middle of all that humiliation, Corrie leaned ahead to her sister, and whispered, "Betsie, they took His clothes, too!"

You see, crucifixion (as horrible as it was) wasn't just about physical torture and death. It was also all about public humiliation. It says in the Bible, "When the soldiers crucified Jesus, they took his clothes, dividing them into four shares, one for each of them, with the undergarment remaining. 'Let's not tear it,' they said to one another. 'Let's decide by lot who will get it.'" (John 19:23-24) Did you see it? They took everything, including his undergarment. He was hanging there, naked, for all the world to see.

When you see crucifixes and artistic depictions of the crucifixion, they always portray Jesus with at least a loincloth. Which I think is correct, in that one day of that kind of humiliation is more than enough for any man, let alone God. We don't need to see it. But just remember, that's not actually how it happened. There was no loincloth, no hiding, no covering Himself.

He endured that kind of pain and humiliation for us. For you. For me.

Think about it....

Yeah, I guess it's been a while....

No, I haven't abandoned my blogs, I've just been rather caught up in goings-on around here...between practicing my fingers off for various Easter weekend gigs, and the insanity that's been work lately....

As for work, in the space of 3 months, we've lost 5 people from our unit. That means 5 caseloads to be absorbed by the rest of us, some of whom (including yours truly) are already at the maximum load you'd want to be at. Yee-ha. We've had 3 people quit (2 had new jobs to go to, the 3rd we don't know....), one person got promoted (yay!), and one person got fired. To top it all off, we were informed today that the unit manager is being moved to another unit, so we'll be getting a new manager.....sometime.....

Yikes!

As for Easter weekend gigs, I wanted to tell you all about a concert we'll be participating in on Easter Saturday (April 7th) at 7pm. It's the annual Impact Brass Anniversary concert. (for those of you who are confused, Impact Brass is the group formerly known as the Ontario South Divisional Youth Band) A group that Doug and I play with, Marked By Love, is the special guest group for the evening. If you haven't heard of us yet, check us out at markedbylove.com! We'll be performing music from our new CD, (which will hopefully be available that night!), as well as a brand new song, written especially by my friend, Donna Harris, for the occasion. If you're the type that likes to sample the wares prior to purchase, go to our MySpace site, where you can hear samples of the music we'll be playing.

If you'd like to come, the concert is at Mountain Citadel in Hamilton (at the corner of Stone Church Road and Upper Gage Ave), and I believe tickets are $10.00 at the door. We'd love to see you there!!!

If you're more the Toronto type, and don't feel like going to Hamilton, you can check out the North York Temple Good Friday concert. It's at the corps (25 Centre Ave, near Yonge and Steeles) on Good Friday evening, I believe it starts at 7:30, and I think the tickets are $5.00. The concert will feature the North York Temple musical sections, including the band, songsters, junior band, and singing company.

Any wonder I haven't had time to blog lately!!! Well, if you're able to make it to either of the concerts, maybe we can be old-fashioned, and catch up in person!

Well, that's what they've named my testimony this Sunday, anyway. I've been asked, as a representative from the songsters, to give my testimony about what I learned during the 40 days of Purpose.

I guess you could call this a trial run...

It would take me way too long to talk about everything I learned over the 4 weeks, so I'll just talk about the 2 main lessons that had their greatest impact on me.

The first lesson is that I am uniquely made with a specific ministry in mind. We are all made in a certain shape, with an individual personality, specific abilities, and given special gifts, which all equip us to serve God in the ministry he chose for us.

I have a very bad habit of constantly comparing myself to other people. I will often look at someone and think to myself, 'I really wish I had their ability'; 'I wish I had that personality trait'; 'I wish I could do what they do.' It's a trap: if we all had each other's gifts, abilities, and traits, then as Rick says, certain things wouldn't get done!

It's like a foot wishing it was a hand. If the foot was a hand, it wouldn't be able to do the job a foot is supposed to do, and the person would fall over. It's the same with us. We have a special place in God's family, and we have been designated for that ministry since before we were born. I need to accept my abilities and my limitations, and strive to grow into the person God made me to be, so I can do the job God created me to do.

Rick Warren had a really good suggestion for discovering just what our intended ministry is: try different things! Many people have no idea what their special place in God's family is. The mistake is to sit in a pew, and assume that you don't have a ministry. Instead, Rick suggests that you try out different ministries that interest you, until you find the one that fits you. If you find out you're not suited to a certain area of ministry, don't get discouraged; chalk it up to experience, and try something else.

Now, that's not to say that we can use the line "this is the way God made me" to justify poor behaviour. We still need to strive to become the person God intended us to be. And to do that, there is one person whom we must try to emulate: Christ. Just because you have certain personality traits that aren't all that positive, doesn't mean you should let them all hang out, especially when it is counter-productive to your ministry. God continually gives us opportunities to develop our character, so we can grow into the person He envisioned when He created us.

That's the second lesson that really stuck with me: God uses all kinds of experiences to mold us. I don't think there's a single person in my church who has not gone through a time of physical or emotional pain, or intense temptation. The important thing to remember is, "all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose."

I think everyone has asked the question, "why do bad things happen to good people?" Rick has a great answer for this: "God's not concerned about our comfort, He's concerned about our character!" I've experienced this first hand, and even during the 40 Days. When we met for study time on Thursday nights, we would spend the first part of the evening watching a video of Rick Warren. We would then break into small groups for discussion and prayer. The tricky part about the small group time, was that the groups were chosen entirely at random. We had no idea who was going to be in our group, until we actually met together for the first time.

Now, anyone who knows me, will know that I am your classic, stereotypical, shy, introvert. I don't feel very comfortable around people I don't know, and I tend to simply ignore them out of a total lack of knowledge of what to do! So, when I'm thrust into a group of people I don't know very well, or just plain don't like very much, it's very difficult for me to focus on what we're supposed to be doing. But, God's not concerned about my comfort; He's concerned about my character! So I decided I was going to learn from the experience, and keep my thoughts focussed on the discussion at hand, and not let my negative feelings get in the way. It was a challenge, I can tell you that!

One great suggestion Rick had was the concept of a Spiritual Journal, where one would record the experiences they have gone through, and the lessons learned through those experiences. Rick's comment was, "a lesson forgotten is an experience wasted." If God's going to allow you to go through a difficult experience for the purpose of teaching you a lesson, or developing a character trait, wouldn't it be horrible to realize that you've forgotten what you were supposed to learn? You would have gone through all that pain and angst for nothing! I took a lot of history courses in university, and one truth was demonstrated over and over again: those who forget history are doomed to repeat it.

What I can tell you for sure, is that I am continuing to go through difficulties and uncomfortable situations. I know I have a lot to learn, and I hope I can always remember what I've been taught in the past. I have important lessons to learn, because these lessons will equip me to fulfill the purpose God has for my life: to worship Him, to fellowship with other believers, to grow in Him, to serve in ministry, and to spread His gospel. I know I have a long way to go yet, before I begin to resemble the person God made me to be, but I firmly believe that He who began a good work in me, will carry it on to completion!

I love to read. Give me a good novel, and I'll have it read cover-to-cover in 2 days. (we're talking the 500-600 page size)

But, tell me I have to read something, and do you think I can do it?

It's like pulling teeth!

I started out so well, reading the Purpose Driven Life. I was on top of the readings, keeping on track, even remembering what I was reading. A book like that, you'd think I'd be flying through it, reading ahead, trying to pace myself so I don't have it read through so quickly that I don't remember things when we finally discuss them at the sessions.

Instead, it's a chore. One that I think to myself, "I really should do that.....right after I do something else...." I struggle to concentrate on what it is I'm reading, fight the distractions that wouldn't even touch my sub-conscious level if it were a good novel I was reading.

It's SO frustrating!

I'm seriously behind on PDL now. No hope of catching up. We have a session tonight, then the final session on Sunday. All I can do now is try to actually finish reading the book, but with no outside motivation, I'm not sure if it will happen.

(someone) is laughing right now.

And I hate it when (he) does that.

I so remember the excitement, back when I was a kid, whenever we had a snow day! The anticipation of listening to the radio, waiting to hear those wonderful words, "Wentworth County school board, buses cancelled!" Woo-hoo! Time to play outside all day, build snow forts, and play hooky with permission!!

I may be a grown-up now, but I still love a good snow day!!

They are certainly few-and-far-between; since I live only 10-15 minutes from my office, I usually don't have an excuse to not come in. Those that live much further away are much more believe-able, when they call in and say, "the roads are too bad, I can't drive in that!" I, on the other hand, would likely get the response of, "oh, it's not that bad, you don't have far to come..."

Today, though, is another story. Thanks to a whole lot of freezing rain, our entire office is without power.

Yee-Ha!! Snow Day!!

So I can relax, get some things done around here, and dream of what life would be like if I didn't have to work. I certainly wouldn't be bored, I've got too many irons in the fire! Between piano, scrapbooking, photography, all these things I just don't have the time to do with a full-time job.

But, I just might take some time to play in the snow, for old time's sake!

For those of you who are interested, yes, I went to bible study last week. I basically quarantined myself, so no-one else would catch what I had!

We watched another Rick Warren video, and then broke into our small groups. I ended up in a very interesting group, with a good mix: some people I know very well, and am very comfortable with; some people I don't know at all; and some people I do know, and am NOT very comfortable with. It will certainly help me to grow! I have to admit, I had to remind myself a couple of times to keep my not-so-nice thoughts in check, and to stay focussed on what we were discussing. It's a learning experience to say the least!

As far as the reading goes, I was doing wonderfully well (and quite proud of it!) until Friday. That old quote "pride goeth before the fall" came to life in vivid detail, as this evening was the first time I've read since Friday morning! (I feel sheepish...) I'm bound and determined to get caught up in time for this Thursday, though. Pray I won't let anything get in the way!

Speaking of which, I am going to sign off, so I can go read!

You know, I'm getting the distinct impression that (someone) doesn't want me doing the 40 Days of Purpose...

I'm very happy to say, I've been doing all the readings so far! I'm right on schedule. It hasn't been easy, let me tell you! I've been fine, making the time to read: I've been doing one reading as soon as I wake up in the morning, and another reading each evening as I'm getting ready for bed. Each time, though, it's a battle to keep my concentration on what I'm reading. There's constant distraction: the TV is going elsewhere in the house, but loud enough for me to hear it; I have trouble staying awake (especially during the early-morning readings); other noises/thoughts intrude; and my bladder always seems to want to tell me it's full, even if it isn't! I've managed to ignore the distractions for the most part, although there have been several times when I've had to go back and re-read a paragraph or 2, because what I've read hasn't sunk in!

OK, so I'm battling through the readings. How about the weekly meetings? Well, we have our second one tomorrow night, and wouldn't you know it, I'm sick!! I finally picked up one of the many cold bugs flying around this year (actually, I think I did OK, not catching anything until February!), so far it's settled in my chest; I don't know if it's going to migrate upwards, or if this is it. Regardless, I have a feeling that tomorrow will be worse than today, just in time for our first meeting in small groups!

This set of readings and bible studies is evidently very important for me to participate in, if (he)'s working so hard to keep me from it! (he)'s not going to get the upper hand, and I'm going tomorrow night if I have to drag myself there and wear a mask!

The musical sections at our corps are doing something very odd.

(for them, anyway)

For the next 4 weeks, there will be no rehearsals.

Instead, there will be Bible Study.

?????????????????????????????????

Anyone who knows anything about North York Temple, will know that it is one of the more traditional corps in the city, especially when it comes to music. We have a very strong band program, and the songsters aren't far behind. We have very strong leaders, a lot of musicians (with names like Venables, Allington, Rawlins), and the focus has always been the MUSIC.

So, when it was announced last week that the leaders would be giving up their rehearsal time (in the middle of a busy season, no less), and instead the groups would come together on one of the rehearsal nights to do a bible study, needless to say there were a few raised eyebrows. (mine included)

I'm thinking to myself, this could be a very good thing!

I was very surprised that the Bandmaster and Songster Leader agreed to this. Our corps band is a very busy one, with big grandiose concerts and special events happening every couple of months or so. They're even preparing to do a recording. But, I think this bible study shows that the priority is being put in the right place. It's also teaching the younger kids in the corps what the priority should be.

We'll be going through Rick Warren's "The Purpose-Driven Life". Now, our own little bible study group (when it was running) already did this book. I'm not upset about doing it again, though, because it was a couple of years ago, and to be honest, I don't remember a whole lot. I'm looking forward to refreshing my memory, and maybe getting a different perspective as well. (different leaders can have that effect!)

I'm also looking forward to being in a small group setting with people I don't normally hang out with. The small groups are being chosen completely by random, and while some may find that scarey, I'll be interested to see how the dynamic works out. Especially if I wind up in a group with someone I don't like/get along with/appreciate. As was said in the first session last night, "God's not worried about our comfort; He's concerned with our character".

One concession that was made for the leaders, is that we'll be squishing the "40 days" into 4 weeks, so we're having to read 2 chapters a day instead of 1. That's OK - I enjoy reading. I just hope I can keep up with it...

Sherrilyn and Elfreda brought up a very good point last week: we don't get near the scriptural teaching through the church that we used to. Think about it: we used to have 2 meetings plus open-air every Sunday, as kids we started in Sunday School, then went to Junior Soldiers, then Sr Soldiers, then Corps Cadets, then usually youth group every week. It was perfectly normal to be at the corps 4-5 days out of the week, and not just for musical practices.

But, then they started cutting things out, watering things down, and catering to outside influences. Short-cuts taken. Meetings cancelled. Programs altered in an attempt to "make it more relevant". Eventually, things just plain petered out. It's a sad state, really.

And we wonder why church attendance is down?....

I hope the rest of the congregation, and maybe even some other corps, might take our example and try the same thing. Take a sabbatical from something you think is important, and focus for a time on what truly is important. It's the age-old concept of fasting, and it can do wonders for your soul!

Thanks for the heads-up, Donna!

There's a new blog out there, for all us Selkirk Alumni! If you were ever there, and have fond memories, this is the place to go! Share your memories, any fun photos you might have from any of the 50 years the camp was in operation, and take a stroll down amnesia lane...(to quote one of my favorite movies!)

My official on-line scrapbook is now in business!

From now on, in an attempt to keep this site from getting too unwieldy, photos will be posted on my photo blog.

Don't worry, I'll still put very important ones here, but for the most part, I'll be reserving this site for discussions, updates, goings-on, etc.

Hope to see you there!

I've discovered that my favorite photography subjects, besides nature, are little kids. I guess it's the innocence of it all, or the fact that they can be so unaware.

Here are some shots I took of my niece and nephew up at Tobermory a couple of summers ago.





Leslie's kids are great, too. I had fun playing "peek-a-boo" with Honour at a family wedding...


I've noticed a disturbing trend lately, though: I've been forgetting my camera! I was actually half-way to my parents' for Christmas, of all things, and realized my camera was still at home!

I'd really like to get back into it, though, because I get so much enjoyment out of it. Unfortunately, it can be very expensive, between the film, the developing, etc. No, I haven't switched to digital, first of all because I can't afford a digital SLR yet, and secondly, there are effects you just can't get with digital, that can look amazing on film. Yes, it means I waste shots because I don't know what they look like until I get the film back, but that's all part of the learning process, as far as I'm concerned!

In the mean time, if you see me walking around with my camera, don't bother trying to hide. My favorite shots are the candid ones that people don't realize I'm taking, so I'll just get ya when you aren't looking!

Took these a couple of years ago. It was Labour Day weekend, but as you can see, the trees were already trying to turn! I was experimenting with the one of the falls, I was surprised it actually turned out as well as it did!

Now that I know how to upload photos, I'm going to do it more often!

(that's "G" as in, "Goodness"!)

Well, it's been a week. Of what, you ask?

Well, I guess you could say, a week in the life.....

We had a team member leave the company this week. She found that the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence (at least, when it comes to salaries), and got a job as an adjudicator for WSIB. Can't really blame her, she can start all over in a new job, new office, with more money and more holidays. A few of us are jealous...

As a result of her leaving, a couple of us moved desks. Not that we really had to, we just decided we wanted to, and for some reason, they actually agreed to move us! Very odd for this office....usually they fight us tooth-and-nail for anything....but I now have a bigger desk, by old desk buddy has more room (she can now expand into my old desk), and the girl who's desk I took is now in the "back of the bus" area. (you know, the desks back by the windows that are out-of-the-way and under-the-radar)

Something else a little odd happened today as well. For weeks (months, even), the powers-that-be have been asking us, "how can we make it better?", and our response is starting to become, "we already told you 15 times!". But, one of the complaints we've had is that people's accomplishments are not being recognized. Well, guess who got recognized today?! Apparently, my team leader decided that the letter I got from one of my claimants was worthy of recognition (she was VERY complimentary), so I was rewarded with a round of applause from the unit, and (believe it or not) a MALL GIFT CARD! We had heard rumours of these gift cards having been purchased, but we were all a little skeptical that they would ever actually surface. They actually proved us wrong for once.....we'll see how long it lasts....

One thing I'm very happy about right now is the amount of work getting done in my basement. Doug's been working his little tushy off! The laundry room, stairwell, and hallway are almost completely drywalled and taped, almost ready for priming! It's actually starting to feel like we're really going to get this place done and on the market. Dare I hope?....

Anyway, it's the weekend....FINALLY....I actually get to sleep in.....YAY!....I even get to go back to the Hammer tomorrow, even if it is for a band concert, but it is my brother's band that's playing, and both Doug and Dad are helping out, so that's OK. (holy run-on sentence, batman) I still get to see all the fam, and I always feel much more "at home" when I'm out there -- as far as I'm concerned, it's still home!

Sorry, nothing thought-provoking tonight. I'm too tired.

Catch ya later.

Read an interesting news story today....

Apparently, a Baptist church in Sydney, Australia has posted a sign on their building, which reads, "Jesus Loves Osama".

Read about it here.

It's the basis of the Christian belief that God (and therefore, Jesus) loves everyone, regardless of who they are, and what they have done. Since God is Love, it is impossible for Him not to love all human life, even one such as Osama Bin Laden. Indeed, the sign on the church even has Matthew 5:44 quoted on it: "Love you enemies, and pray for those who persecute you".

I guess some people aren't liking the sign very much.

From what I understand, it's not the idea that Jesus could love Osama that they find offensive, it's more a mis-interpretation. I guess some people are seeing this sign, and reading, "Jesus approves of Osama."

I suppose it's an honest mistake, and I can see how the sign could be mis-interpretted. Perhaps the church should have been a little more specific. Maybe "Jesus loves Osama, regardless of what he has done"... Granted, it wouldn't look as nice, and maybe wouldn't have garnered quite as much attention.

Apparently, they aren't the only ones with that message on their building. There are quite a few churches in the inner city in Sydney with similar messages, basically asking for prayer for Osama and other terrorists. The Prime Minister of Australia didn't agree - he felt the prayers could be better used elsewhere... (?)

The reactions to questions have been interesting. The Anglican priest responded that he agreed with the theology, but found the sign "misleading, and potentially offensive". The Baptist spokesperson tried to distance herself, saying that the church was responsible for their own sign, and "they usually aren't this controversial."

Maybe we need to be a little more controversial. As long as we can back up what we're saying, it might do the world some good if we stopped hiding and made people think, react, and investigate.

After all, Jesus didn't get Himself crucified by being politically correct.....

I read an interesting blog lately. Well, actually, it was the comments that were truly interesting.

When I was still in Hamilton, the corps I was going to planted a new church. It was a "Gen-X" church, as we put it then. Very different to what I'm used to - it would be very difficult for me, as a multi-generational Sally Ann, to consider it as a place I'd want to worship.

The point is, it isn't a church for me. It's a "church" for those that don't want the trappings, restraints, and pre-conceived notions of what a "church" should be. That doesn't make it any less a church than the one I attend (in full uniform!) every Sunday. It's still a place of worship, where the gospel is proclaimed.

As far as I'm concerned, it's getting back to the roots of what the Army originally was: something completely different, that met people where they were, on their level. I think William and Catherine would be proud.

The blog I'm referring to is an interesting look into the matter of "branding". I guess a few of the Sally Anners in the Hammer are getting their shorts in a knot over the fact that "The Salvation Army" isn't emblazoned on the frwy's building, t-shirts, etc, etc. I can see where the SA folks are coming from - they sacrificed and invested an awful lot in this new plant, hoping to reap a harvest. It now appears to them as if the frwy is completely turning their backs and going their own way.

What's the problem?

They are the "kids". I know that poor Winterberry had an entire generation leave them for the frwy, and they are now suffering from a severe lack of twenty- and thirty-somethings. Very tragic. Hard to recover from.

But shouldn't they be glad that their kids are involved in a ministry? Shouldn't they be glad that the seed they planted is growing and bearing fruit? Why are they getting upset over the lack of "branding" at frwy?

I suppose part of it has to do with hurt feelings. I can see where they're coming from. They sacrificed their future for the frwy, and now they feel as though they're being abandoned. I suppose it would be similar to the feeling a parent would have if their child turned their back on them and completely disowned them. Ouch. We've had a couple of new corps plants go the "non-branded" route here in the GTA, and we often hear comments along the lines of, "the Army did so much for them, and now they're trying to pretend they have nothing to do with us! How ungrateful is that?!"

But, is the frwy truly doing that? According to Pernell's blog, they are very appreciative, and very thankful, of all the Army has done for them, and are very proud to be part of the Army. So why don't they have the Army proclaimed all over their place?

Well, why should they? Does it really matter? What does it matter, in the grand scheme of things, whether a person comes to a place of worship with an Army crest, or an Army shield? Shouldn't the important thing be that they are coming to a place of worship at all?

There was a great comment on Pernell's blog, where someone stated that the only "brand" that should really count is that of Christ.

I couldn't agree more.

The unfortunate thing with "branding" is that people see a certain name, and they assume certain things. Let's face it: you see "The Salvation Army", and you immediately think of uniform, flags, and brass bands. You see "Brethren Church", and you immediately think of women keeping silent, with their heads covered. You see "United Church", and you immediately think of inclusive language. It's a human trait to affix labels, I guess we think it's going to help organize the world, make it more manageable, more understandable. I can certainly see why the frwy is not wanting to "brand" themselves as Army, they just want people to come and figure it out for themselves, without pre-conceived notions. Can you blame them?

If this is a topic that gets your blood flowing, I'd encourage you to visit Pernell's blog. The comments are very eye-opening. Kinda puts the other perspective on things....

I got this as an email from a friend at work. Just had to share it, it's just too funny!

Why?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting weak?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say, "It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say, "That hurt, you stupid idiot"?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE......

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four persons is suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

If I've learned nothing else over the last 4 years of Toronto driving, it's that Toronto Traffic takes on a life all it's own. Most of the time, there's no rhyme or reason behind it.

I have come to the conclusion that it's not really about the highway system, it's not the traffic patterns so-to-speak, and it's not a whole lot to do with the number of people trying to go in the same direction all at once.

It's all about the Corollas.

More specifically, people who drive the Corollas.

Now, I'm not saying that all Corolla drivers are bad drivers, nor am I saying that bad drivers will only be found in Corollas. However, after several years of observation, frustration, and outright road rage, there appears (to me) to be a disproportionate number of bad drivers driving Corollas in the GTA.

Give it a try next time you're driving in Toronto. Find yourself a traffic jam (shouldn't be too difficult), and 9 times out of 10, the slow car holding up the works will be a Corolla. Usually a slightly older one, late 90's or so, although the newer Corollas are not immune to Corolla Driver Syndrome. I've learned not to drive behind a Corolla, because the driver will invariably drive slower than the speed limit, change lanes without warning, decide at the last minute that, "oh! I need to turn here!", then change their minds and keep on going, after you've almost rear-ended them.....twice..... They pretty much seem clueless. The worst part is, they will usually drive in the left lane, and in such a way that no one can get out from behind them, so they'll hold up traffic for miles.....

Add winter weather to the mix, and you have a very dangerous combination. I think most of them got their licences (and their Corollas) in the summer. Either that, or they just can't remember one winter to the next what actually is slippery, and what is not.

Some of you may think I'm not being fair. Let me re-iterate: not ALL Corolla drivers are bad drivers. I actually know a few people who drive Corollas who are very good drivers. (although, why they would drive a Corolla is totally beyond me....) Do yourself a favour: trade in your Corolla! You're ruining your reputation as a driver!

Still think I'm being unfair?

I was driving to work the other morning, and the left lane (in which I was driving) suddenly slowed considerably. The right lane continued on, with people behind and in front of me bailing out to pass the obstruction in the left lane. Eventually, I came up behind the car which appeared to be the problem: an older model American car, driving on a donut. I thought to myself, ok, you're forgiven - I'd be driving a little slower too, if I was having to drive on a donut.

Then the guy with the donut swung himself into the right lane in an attempt to finally get out from behind the Corolla.....

.....'nuf said.....

Back to the grind.

Gee, don't I sound excited?

I guess it's typical for January, after the Christmas and New Years excitement. I guess I'm going through holiday withdrawl. Some might even say I'm in denial, especially when they walk into my living room, and see all the Christmas decorations still up. (tree included!) I just use the excuse that, hey! It's only a few days past the Eastern Orthodox Christmas!

I'm having difficulty getting back into the swing of things at work. I'm so used to working like crazy, trying to get caught up for vacations, that now that things are returning to normal, I'm actually having trouble figuring out what to do! It's almost like I'm too caught-up, I need that bit of pressure to actually get things done.

I feel like I'm in neutral, and the gear shift just won't budge. I've been joking that I won't know how to handle a 5-day week anymore, I've had at least one day off in every work week since November. I'm actually finding it difficult to get through this 4-day week! I suppose I shouldn't complain, I had a lot of holidays to use up before the end of last year, and there were people I work with who couldn't take any holidays because they'd used them all up. It catches up with you, though.

So, here I am, in 2007. Let's see, what is coming up this year?.... My 5th wedding anniversary, my 5th anniversary at work (I think I get a little gift of some kind, and another week of holidays), the first Marked By Love CD release, hopefully a new house (if we ever get this one in any kind of shape to sell), and, well, other plans I'd rather not get into (might give too many people too much hope -- including myself).

I guess the biggest thing weighing me down right now is the fear that, like last year, plans will fall flat. Last year was very frustrating. I don't want this year to be the same. Yeah, I know, I sounded so optimistic, so grounded, so realistic in my last post. See why I really don't like to make New Years Resolutions?

Sorry for the depressing post. Just calling it as I see it right now.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a brighter day....

Well, welcome to 2007. To be honest, it really doesn't feel a whole lot different to 2006. (yet) All it's doing right now is reminding me of just how quickly time is going by!

But, I'm not going to dwell on that. I've heard enough people complain about how fast kids grow up, how fast time flies as you get older, etc. etc., (and yes, I'm one of those people!), that I'm just not going to do that here.

There are 2 big things people do at New Years: evaluate last year, and make resolutions for next year. I'm really not sure I want to do either! I don't want to depress myself by going over the list of things I originally wanted to see accomplished last year, nor do I want to set myself up for further depression by making resolutions which, in all likelihood, will fall by the wayside within weeks, if they even get off the ground in the first place.

Why put myself through that???

Then again, there is the age-old truth: "those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it" Having earned a history minor in university, I've seen that truth demonstrated time and time again. I guess it's all how you approach a retrospective: drag up past failures and disappointments for the sake of berating yourself? Or, look at what you could have done differently, learn the lesson, and move on? I think I like what's behind door number 2...

But before I get to all that, it's been an interesting New Year's. The Rayment Band Widows have banded together for the weekend, I've been staying at my mom's for the last couple of days, and we're off to have supper with Sarah and the kids in a little while. The guys marched in the Tournament of Roses Parade this morning (also known as "the Rose Bowl parade"), and our guys in our band made it through ok. Apparently, there was one CSB casualty along the way - a certain horn player from NYT gutted it out with a bad ankle, but had to drop out just past the grandstands. (discretion is the better part of valour - the parade itself is 5 miles long, not counting the lead-in and lead-out...) We managed to catch Phil and one of the other CSB horn players on camera, but Doug and Dad were buried in their sections with the bells of their horns blocking any view of their faces. Thankfully, we recorded the correct TV coverage - ABC did a nice job of catching the band, but the twits at NBC signed off their coverage about half-way through the parade, before the S.A. band even got there! Oh, well, at least they got some camera time this year; there was one year when all three networks covering the parade went to commercial just as the band was coming by the cameras!! (I think a couple of networks heard from certain S.A. organisers -- it hasn't happened since!)

Well, it's back to the grind in a day or two. Work will be back in full swing, as will corps activities, and we'll be back to our ridiculously busy selves. What do I want to do this year? Actually, I had already made a few decisions regarding changes I want to make, and have been striving to make, before the new year even got here. For example, one of the by-products of my move to Toronto has been that I've lost contact, or at least had much less contact, with my friends and family in the Hamilton area. I want to change that. My new friends in Toronto are wonderful, and I'm so glad to have them. But, I really need to hang on to the friends I've had for many years.

I don't want to officially list any "resolutions", because that's just asking for failure and disappointment. What I will say is this: I'm going to continue doing what I've been trying to do all along. I'm going to do my best to live according to the One who loves me more than anyone in this world, who's grace and mercy is available to all who ask for it, and who taught us all how we should live by living it Himself.

If I can do that, then I can call this year a success. Everything else just doesn't matter.