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Well, it's beginning to sink in. Doesn't make any sense yet, and I'm sure it may be a very long time before it does, if ever. I'm getting over the shock. Still a little off-balance, and my head is still fuzzy, but overall I'm beginning to feel better.
That doesn't mean it's any easier, mind you.
It's been a rough week, to say the least. The visitation was on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday. Very quick, it seemed, but I guess that's how her family wanted it. It was so heart-breaking to see her sons, only in their 20's (and looking even younger!).
I thought the funeral was very meaningful, even though I've never experienced a Greek Orthodox funeral before, and had no hope of understanding all the Greek being sung. The liturgy was actually rather comforting, and the priest did do some translation for us english-only folks. And there was quite a contingent of us -- I think the people from work accounted for about 1/4 of the congregation.
We're slowly losing the things that remind us of Fay. Her sons came in last night to collect her things from her desk, so we no longer see her shawl draped over her chair (she was cold-blooded, like me, and often was wrapping herself up in that shawl), no longer see the photos of her sons and nephews on the desk...maybe it's for the best, it doesn't seem so much like she should be walking in the door at any minute...
But I'll always see her leaning against my desk when she would stop by for a chat, or sitting in the "lounge" in our team area, when we'd have an impromptu meeting ("just two minutes!"), or just sitting around on a Friday morning with our coffees, and I still hear her voice when I read the notes she's left in my files...
I worked with Fay for 5 years. I was placed on her team when she first became a team leader, not long after I started with the company. She and I usually worked very well together. There was an unfortunate period of time, when things weren't going so well, and most people on the team were upset with her, but in the last few months, she was an absolute pleasure to work with. There were a lot of similarities in our personalities, so I felt I understood her fairly well. She always encouraged me, wasn't afraid to give me a good, swift, kick in the rear whenever I needed it, but I always knew she was in my corner.
It will take some time to get used to not having her there, she was a big part of my life at work. I'm going to miss teasing her about her computer skills (or rather, the lack thereof!), or about her, well, interesting terms (I'll never look at another gargoyle without thinking, "it's 'mooshy'"); I'll miss hearing about her sons and their latest accomplishments, or her nephews, or her nieces, or her mom... she was a lady who loved her family and friends dearly.
I had someone say to me today, rather bluntly, that life goes on. Indeed, it does. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong in taking my time getting back to "normal". I don't want life to just "go on", and forget about her. Yes, we must move on, but the last thing I want to do is leave her memory behind.
I can't just pretend nothing happened, push it away, and not deal with it.
I have to face it head-on.
She deserves that much.
That doesn't mean it's any easier, mind you.
It's been a rough week, to say the least. The visitation was on Monday, the funeral on Tuesday. Very quick, it seemed, but I guess that's how her family wanted it. It was so heart-breaking to see her sons, only in their 20's (and looking even younger!).
I thought the funeral was very meaningful, even though I've never experienced a Greek Orthodox funeral before, and had no hope of understanding all the Greek being sung. The liturgy was actually rather comforting, and the priest did do some translation for us english-only folks. And there was quite a contingent of us -- I think the people from work accounted for about 1/4 of the congregation.
We're slowly losing the things that remind us of Fay. Her sons came in last night to collect her things from her desk, so we no longer see her shawl draped over her chair (she was cold-blooded, like me, and often was wrapping herself up in that shawl), no longer see the photos of her sons and nephews on the desk...maybe it's for the best, it doesn't seem so much like she should be walking in the door at any minute...
But I'll always see her leaning against my desk when she would stop by for a chat, or sitting in the "lounge" in our team area, when we'd have an impromptu meeting ("just two minutes!"), or just sitting around on a Friday morning with our coffees, and I still hear her voice when I read the notes she's left in my files...
I worked with Fay for 5 years. I was placed on her team when she first became a team leader, not long after I started with the company. She and I usually worked very well together. There was an unfortunate period of time, when things weren't going so well, and most people on the team were upset with her, but in the last few months, she was an absolute pleasure to work with. There were a lot of similarities in our personalities, so I felt I understood her fairly well. She always encouraged me, wasn't afraid to give me a good, swift, kick in the rear whenever I needed it, but I always knew she was in my corner.
It will take some time to get used to not having her there, she was a big part of my life at work. I'm going to miss teasing her about her computer skills (or rather, the lack thereof!), or about her, well, interesting terms (I'll never look at another gargoyle without thinking, "it's 'mooshy'"); I'll miss hearing about her sons and their latest accomplishments, or her nephews, or her nieces, or her mom... she was a lady who loved her family and friends dearly.
I had someone say to me today, rather bluntly, that life goes on. Indeed, it does. But that doesn't mean I'm wrong in taking my time getting back to "normal". I don't want life to just "go on", and forget about her. Yes, we must move on, but the last thing I want to do is leave her memory behind.
I can't just pretend nothing happened, push it away, and not deal with it.
I have to face it head-on.
She deserves that much.
