J9's Property

I know, it's been forever since I posted. Again. But, let's face it, there's only been one thing I've actually wanted to write about, and I didn't want to let the secret out until now.

That's right, I'm having a baby; expecting; pregnant; preggers; preggo; in the family way; have a bun in the oven; (have I missed any?)

It's a bit scarey, really. I don't know a whole lot about wee ones! Anyone in my family will tell you, I HATED babysitting as a teenager, and would find any excuse to say "no" to anyone who asked me to. Didn't matter how much I would be paid, I just really didn't want to do it! Especially if they were asking me to babysit really little ones. Diapers and me don't mix too well! I also just didn't know how to relate to kids, how to converse with them, how to play with them, I just never really learned what to do with them.

So, here I am, wondering how I'm going to do this!

It's always been part of the "plan" to start a family. Someday. In the future. Eventually. When we're settled in a new house, in a new town, and we realize that we don't have any more excuses for delaying. But it was always one of those "someday" ideas in the backs of our minds. My attitude has always been, if The Lord wants us to have kids, we'll have them. If He doesn't, we won't.

...I guess He wants us to have kids.....(or at least, one, anyway! There's only one in there!)

Don't get me wrong, we're quite excited! Especially now that the oh-my-goodness-we're-having-a-baby shock has worn off. And the grandparents are Very excited. (yes, mom, I saw you go up to the cash desk in the children's store!) And I have to say, it's been fun seeing the reactions as we tell people. With everyone so excited for us, how can we not be excited ourselves?? Of course, we've had a few weeks to become accustomed to the idea, so we're not quite so giddy anymore. (well, I'm not anyway... I think Doug is another story...)

I guess what it all boils down to, is that we've started on a brand new journey, one that will take a lot of faith, a lot of patience, and will last the rest of our lives. Which isn't a bad thing! Like I read in an article about "40 reasons to be glad you're pregnant": we'll never be bored again!!

....guess it's been a while!!

I just realized I haven't blogged all summer! How pathetic is that?? It's not that there hasn't been stuff going on, I just haven't blogged about it. No excuses. Just...haven't...blogged...

I'm sorry!

Well, to catch you up, we went camping in July with Mom & Dad, and Phil & Sarah and the kids. Lots of fun!! We got to try out our "new" tent - not new as such, but new to us. You see, when Mom&Dad got a new trailer, Phil & Sarah took their old trailer. Phil & Sarah then gave us their larger tent in exchange for our smaller tent. It was beautiful! Can't wait to use it again!

The week was great, we camped at Pog Lake in Algonquin Park. One of my favorite spots! We even rented a canoe for the week, which was great. Pog Lake is a great jumping-off point for canoeing, you can go in 2 different directions into a couple of different lakes. Phil&Sarah also rented a canoe, so we were able to go out on a couple of excursions together. I'll post some shots on my photo blog soon for you to see.

One of the best things about the week was being able to hang out with Micaela and Ethan. I don't get to see them nearly enough, so it was great to be able to get to know them a little better. They can be so much fun, especially around a campfire. Ethan was a hoot, using his "spooky" voice to say good night every night. Between that and re-naming a restaurant "The Egg Pooper"... (the restaurant is actually called "The Mad Musher"...not sure where the connection is...)

Earlier this August, we celebrated our 6th wedding anniversary. 6 years?!?!?!? Where did the time go???? It only seems like we've been married a couple of years!.... We had a nice day, we drove up to Huntsville via Collingwood...yes, I know, that's just a bit out of the way, but I'd never been up to the Wasaga Beach/Collingwood area, so it was fun to explore. Once we got to Huntsville, we had supper at one of our favorite "casual fine dining" spots, called 3 Guys and a Stove. We even sat out on the deck to eat, and it was really nice!

It's now the Labour Day weekend, and just about every year we've gone camping at Arrowhead Provincial Park. Except for this year. We've stayed home this time, Doug is hoping to get some serious work done on the house, so we can hopefully list it in September. Yah, I know, how many times have I said that?...(don't remind me!)... But seriously, the end is in sight. We've been able to get a lot of work done this year, and it's actually possible. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that we can actually get it done this time, before the housing market falls any further.

Well, I think that about catches me up for now. For those of you who know about Marked By Love , we're at Eastwood Corps in Windsor next weekend (September 6-7) for their Rally Day Weekend. We're really looking forward to it! Might we see you there?....

Some are self-imposed.

Some are from other people.

But there are too many of them.

I can never live up to all the expectations people have of me, nor the ones I have of myself.

After all, I'm only one human.

But it's distressing. I'll put in a really good effort some days, then others I get so overwhelmed that I literally just curl up in a corner and try to shut everything out.

There are so many, from so many different sources...

...The expectation to be a loving, considerate, self-less, hard-working wife...

...The expectation to be a loving, considerate, thoughtful daughter and daughter-in-law...

...The expectation to be a loyal, considerate, thoughtful friend...

...The expectation to move...

...The expectation to produce children. (or grandchildren, or great-grandchildren, depending on the source)...

...The expectation to be fiscally responsible...

...The expectation to make wise decisions in everyday life, every day of my life...

...The expectation to be a loyal, productive, understanding, Christ-like member of a church...

...The expectation to be "flexible"...

...The expectation to be a loyal, productive, hard-working, conscientious employee...

...The expectation to live up to my potential...

...And the list goes on....

I've been wondering lately why my stress levels have been getting out of control. When I sat down and looked (really looked) at what's been happening in my life lately, I've realized that I have a lot of expectations placed on me, and I'm having a very difficult time living up to them all.

It causes me great distress when I let someone down.

It causes me great distress when I let myself down.

Sometimes I want to climb up on a hill, or the roof of a building, and just scream to the sky, "ENOUGH!!!"

I guess it's a case of prioritizing: whose expectations are the most important? Which expectations are the ones that really count in the long-run?

It's the type of question that I need a time-out from life to really be able to answer. There's no easy, clear-cut answer, because so many of the expectations are legitimate and important both in this life and the next.

But a "time-out" is not on the agenda for quite a while yet.

Right now, I'm just tired.

Tired of trying.

Tired of failing.

Just.

Plain.

Tired.

Somebody throw me a life-ring here?.....

SOOO.....

Here are a few shots from the Scrapping Cabin last weekend, at Jackson's Point. As you can see, we basically take over the place! It was a really fun weekend, didn't get a lot of sleep (but then, I didn't expect to!), and had to come home to get some rest, but it was a wonderful break from real life. And I even got some work done on my album!


This was the table where I sat, along with Carol (on the left), Pat (on the right), and Joanne (hiding behing the lamp). The lamp was an interesting addition, since neither Jo nor I had desk lights, and the lighting was rather poor in our corner...

Of course, the Cabin wouldn't be the Cabin without a few hijinx...the gnome at the top of the stairs had a motion sensor on it...so everytime someone walked up or down the stairs, it farted!

I'm in serious count-down mode!

I get to completely escape from life this weekend!

I'm not sure how many people know just how much I'm into scrapbooking. I tend to spend a rather silly amount of money on tools and supplies, but I love the challenge of putting a lay-out together, finding just the right colours and embellishments to go with a certain group of photos, finding just the right place for each piece of the "puzzle"...

A couple of ladies at my corps (that's "church" for the non-Sally-Ann-ers) introduced me to the "scrapping cabin" last year. It only took one experience and I was hooked! A bunch (ie. 35-40 or so) of scrapping ladies all get together at Jackson's Point (at the Salvation Army camp/conference center) and do nothing but scrap all weekend. No husbands, no kids, no Real Life... It's a blast! (and when I say scrap "all weekend", I'm not kidding - we regularly go until 2-3am before finally calling it a night, then start right back up at 9am!)

I'm sure there are those of you who are saying to yourselves at this point, "what in the world is so exciting about SCRAPBOOKING????" Well, it's not so much the scrapping (although that in itself can be a lot of fun and very satisfying), but it's the whole idea of hanging out with a whole lot of awesome people and having a TONNE of fun. I think I laughed the hardest I've ever laughed at last fall's cabin!

One of the great things about the Cabin is the completely relaxed and Christian atmosphere. There's so much camaraderie amongst us all, we really feel we can be ourselves - even though a lot of the women are strangers when we first get there! There's no gossiping, no back-biting, no cattiness that can sometimes define a "ladies weekend". Everyone is there to have a lot of fun and relaxation, and believe me, that's what we do!

One thing that I have noticed about these weekends, is that they always seem to come right when I need them the most. The last Cabin was last November, right after I had come through one of my more horrific months on memory, and the break from reality was just what I needed to re-charge. This weekend is no different. The last few weeks have been full of discouraging events, and this will be a much-needed escape from the "blahs" I've been fighting my way through. I need a good, long, gut-aching laugh! (and I'm certain I'll get more than one, if prior Cabin's have been any indication!)

Now, just one thing: don't expect to check this blog next week and find a lot of stories about the "antics" from the weekend, because there's just one rule that governs the Scrapping Cabin and its participants:

"What happens at the Cabin, STAYS at the Cabin!!"

(heehee, I can't wait!)

You know that very sinking feeling you get, when you've been on a very long journey, and you're sure you can see the finish line....and then find out it's only the half-way marker?

I'm there.

I thought we were almost done. Only a few things left to do.

I just found out how much we really have left to do.

I feel exhausted just thinking about it.

I'm at that point where I have to keep reminding myself to TRUST. God know's what He's doing, and He knows when He wants us where. But it's not easy right now, I want what I want, and I want it now!!

I hate waiting.

But God keeps reminding me to trust Him, not myself.

It will all work out the way it's supposed to.

Maybe if my head says that enough times, my heart will start to believe it....

...since I actually wrote anything on this blog. But, to be honest, I just haven't felt like writing.

It's not that I don't have anything to write about, I just haven't had the motivation, and for that matter, the words, to write it all down.

There have actually been times when I've thought that I'd like to write something on here, but then I decide no.....not really sure why, I just sit and find other things to do. Like play Scrabulous, or Sudoku, or browse Facebook...

At one point, I was considering writing down here everything I've been discovering in my bible study. My take on Galatians. The various interesting tid-bits I've been coming across in my research.

But then, I decide no....it's too much effort, and I'll just end up getting behind.

Maybe I just have too much going on -- trying to (FINALLY!) get this house on the market, taking CIP courses, practicing for Marked By Love engagements,......

Or maybe I'm just scared to start writing because I might post something I'll regret.

It hasn't been a particularly pleasant spring so far, and I hate being negative on here. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: The last thing I want is for this blog to become the place where I vent all my negative thoughts for all the world to see! Who wants to read that kind of negativity??

And so, I will follow that old piece of advice: "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

Hopefully I'll start writing on here more, and hopefully I'll start posting more photos on my photo blog.

But, until then, I'll just keep on keeping up, keep the positive thoughts flowing, and see where the rest of this spring takes me.