J9's Property

Advent starts this week.

Stores are in full Kris Kringle mode.

Houses are getting decorated, trees are being cut/set up/decorated.

So why doesn't it feel like Christmas?

I must have too much going on in my mind. Too many thoughts, too many events, too much news (most of it not particularly positive)...

Maybe I'll feel it more after tomorrow night, when we have the annual Christmas With The Salvation Army concert at Roy Thomson Hall.

Maybe I'll feel it more after my exam (for which I really should be studying right now) on Wednesday.

Maybe once my living room is finished, and I can actually put up my own Christmas tree and decorations... (what's that old saying about hope springing eternal?...)

I'm finding it hard to believe that it will be December tomorrow. What happened to October?...oh, never mind, I know only too well what happened to October. I'm still recovering from October. November was certainly a better month, what I can remember of it.

The retail business is certainly pulling out all the stops in trying to get everyone into the Christmas spirit. I just wish their Christmas spirit was the same as my Christmas Spirit. Imagine how much more enjoyable Christmas would be, if it were all about getting together with family and friends, going to parties, hosting parties, celebrating the actual reason we have a holiday (read that, Holy Day) at all. No blown bank accounts and huge credit card debts. No stressing out about what to buy that person who "has it all". No hassles in crowded stores, no fighting over that Big Ticket Item that always seems to crop up every year.

I think it was Madonna (ironic?) and her husband who said that they stopped having Christmas as the secular world knows it. No presents in their house. Just spending time together. For once, I think she's actually done something I can truly admire. I don't know what her motives are, but the idea certainly has merit. Wouldn't you find Christmas more enjoyable? I really think I would.

Just think, no whiney kids when they don't get what they want, or don't get as much as they think they should, or think their sibling got more stuff than they did. No pretending to like something that you know you'll never use, just so you don't offend the person who thought it was perfect for you. No resentment from buying that gift for that person you really don't like, but feel you have to buy for out of duty. No false-ness, no shallowness, no stress, NO COMMERCIALISM...

Whadaya think? Can we get back to basics? Or has Christmas been hijacked to such an extent that it's lost to us forever?

I suppose it may be too much to ask. The western world has become so secularized (or should I say, anti-Christian) that the public perception of Christmas really has become "X-mas" - taking Christ right out of it. Heck, you hardly even hear it called "Christmas" anymore, it's "the holidays". People don't say "Merry Christmas" anymore, it's "Happy Holidays", or my personal pet-peeve, "Season's Greetings". (blech!) Christmas is Santa Claus, perfectly wrapped presents,
fancy Christmas Trees decorated in the most modern style (is it still the big, colourful ribbons with coordinated ornaments? Or is that passe this year?)...

It's really quite sad, if you ask me.

Maybe it'll start to feel like Christmas when I can sit down with my family, relax, and just enjoy being with them. Maybe when I can put the focus where it should be, on a manger in Bethlehem, and on a wee Babe who would change the course of history. No big concerts, no big productions, no big, bright, flashy displays.

Just me, my family, and Him.

Read here.

Can't blame ya, Les!

I'm managing.

Vacations are wonderful things for getting away from life, clearing one's head, reducing one's stress levels, but they can also cause further stress....and I'm not just referring to my husband getting sick right when we were supposed to be heading home! It's been the worst autumn I can remember. One thing on top of another on top of another. I feel so beat up right now, I can't roll with any more punches.

But I do feel as though I have a better handle on things now. I still miss Fay. I look over at her empty desk, and I miss her. I see all the exciting changes happening in the office, and I miss her.

But I'm managing. My head isn't quite so foggy. I feel I can function again.

The piles of paper at work aren't going away. They're actually only going to get worse in the next while, and I'm behind already due to being away for a week.

But it's manageable.

I have a temporary team leader. I now know who my new permanent team leader will be, once the Grand Shuffle is completed in our department. I will also have an entirely new team to work with, and a new desk mate to get to know. I also know where my new desk will be, and I actually move into it on Monday. Which means I have to find time tomorrow to pack up my current desk.

But it's manageable.

If I can take that next breath, tackle that next piece of mail, make that next phone call,....

I can manage.

I can manage, in spite of the latest news, which I'm still trying to absorb. "C" is now closer to home than I've ever wanted it to be. There are a lot of positive aspects to this news, but the natural reaction is still one of fear, worry, concern...

I can manage, in spite of the ongoing upheaval of a house undergoing constant renovations. Still lots left to do.

But, I can manage.

When we were driving to Florida a couple of weeks ago, it rained most of the way. At one point, we were driving through the mountains of West Virginia (or it might have been Virginia...not sure), and the rain let up a bit; the sun shone through a little; and a huge, beautiful, full-arch rainbow appeared right beside us.

And I heard that still, small, voice whisper in my ear,

"Don't worry. I'm taking care of you."